Scenario: One of our senior managers is a very smart man who over the years has contributed a lot to the growth of our firm. He is, however, a bully-and fully aware of it. He understands how being unable to control his emotions and bad behaviors hurts his colleagues, as well as his friends and family, yet he is not to willing to change for fear of “losing face” with colleagues. He is considered the “king of the firm” and no one seems willing to try to coach him.

Recommendations

1.    Use a two-pronged approach:

a.) Engage the CEO before confronting the bully manager, and make sure your CEO will back the intervention, both strategically and legally. Do not meet with the manager unless the CEO also is present. (It also might be necessary to have your legal counsel be part of the intervention team.) This question must be considered: How many people have left the company, or perform at less than optimal levels, because of his chronic angst?

b.)  Confront the bully: assessment and intervention.  Remember this for objectivity: Adults who become bullies often were bullied or abused during childhood. It evolves as a defense mechanism. Unfortunately, the behavior works if it goes unchallenged.

2.  Intervene:

a.)  When detailing examples of his bullying behavior-physical or otherwise-it is important to also acknowledge his positive contributions to the firm. He may not believe he can channel his aggression without being stifled. However, he needs to learn to be dominant without being domineering, as ultimately such behavior puts his own career and the company in jeopardy.

b.)  Provide learning options. For this individual, change won’t happen from one “constructive confrontation,” from reading a self-help book, or even from typical management methods. Suggest that he voluntarily avail himself of confidential executive coaching/anger management courses (off site) for two to three months, at the firm’s expense.

c.)  Group intervention. There may need to be a group intervention before this senior manager opens up to the above approaches. Such an intervention might include you, the CEO and any colleagues he sees as “near equals”-and, perhaps, even people he has particularly aggrieved, professionally or personally. Have a professional consultant facilitate the intervention.

This is a challenging undertaking, so make clear to upper management that outside expertise likely will be needed to get the process moving. Getting this valued manager to drop his bullying ways will be good for your firm in the long run.

Reference: Mark Gorkin, “The Stress Doc”, Washington, October 9, 2009

Source: http://www.workforce.com/archive/feature/26/76/61/index.php